You can be Isolated and in the Midst of It All – Get the Balance Right
By Mitchell Slepian
World’s Fair Globe, Flushing Meadows–Corona Park
No, I am not writing about Ol’ Blue Eyes. Or quoting from Depeche Mode. (But I do want to hear his version of “New York, New York” played after every game at Yankee Stadium during 2026). The Big Apple is one of the world’s most photogenic cities. Yes, there are plenty of others, for example, Belfast, Jerusalem, Moscow, Milan, Reykjavik and Tel Aviv. What I love about New York City is that nowhere else can you find Broadway, the Brooklyn Bridge, Coney Island, the East and Hudson Rivers, the Staten Island Ferry, Yankee Stadium, and the World’s Fair Globe. And more. Much more.
Cell Tower Outside Brooklyn Botanic Garden
New York offers places where you can feel the big-city madness. Or areas where you can feel the quiet and almost feel isolation. When I say isolation, I do not mean the Joy Division tune. I am thinking about being at the Brooklyn (BBG) or New York Botanic Gardens, William H. Pouch Scout Camp, or just being in your own world while cruising along Museum Mile. NYC offers isolation and madness.
The Vessel at Hudson Yards
The joy of being in the “isolation”(Joy Division was running through my head) of NYC, or let’s be honest, any other major city, is the things that pop up on your travels. As I was walking through the Fall Harbor Fest at BBG, I looked up and saw a cell tower. A few feet away, I watched a squirrel around some dying flowers. It’s that time of year. Next to the flowers was a trash can. I remember seeing cell towers driving through Death Valley and along the Italian lakes.
Let’s face they are everywhere. We cannot survive without our Wi-Fi. In many ways, seeing them and the trash cans keeps it in perspective. You can enjoy your isolation or privacy. But know you are when you are in the middle of beautiful gardens or national parks and communing with nature, you can easily text your friends, check the baseball scores, or listen to Depeche Mode on Apple Music on your iPhone. And toss out your trash. NYC provides the perfect place to do it all. It’s just important to remember to stay balanced in your adventures and take it all in.
Does Music Make a Difference When Shooting and Editing Photos?
By Mitchell Slepian
Hello, readers. As my regulars are aware, ninety-nine percent of the time, the images in my stories have been shot and edited with my Nikon camera. As Paul Simon sings, I like to take photographs. My Kodachrome sits on a table next to an old Nikon that was a workhorse and is now out of commission.
Sheepshead Bay by Emmons Avenue – Edited to Sir Elton
When shooting and editing, I always have songs in my head. One of my all-time favorite songs is “100 Years,” the opening track on The Cure’s “Pornography” album. It might be the darkest, most goth album of all time. I listen to it nonstop. Here’s a taste of Robert Smith’s (The Cure’s founder, lead singer, and possibly the best songwriter ever) lyrics. “It doesn’t matter if we all die. Ambition in the back of a black car.” I listen to lots of other great artists. Some are happier than The Cure. Of course, some are just as dark. Here’s a partial mix: Bauhaus, David Bowie, Billy Joel, Depeche Mode, Erasure, Sir Elton John, Joy Division, John Lennon (probably the best musician of all time), Led Zeppelin, Bob Marley, The Psychedelic Furs, The Smiths, Siouxsie and the Banshees, U2 and The Who. And the list goes on.
Red Flower – Edited to Sir Elton
It’s not unusual for me to have some of these lyrics floating through my brain when I’m shooting. “Confusion in her eyes that says it all. She’s lost control. And she’s clinging to the nearest passerby.” – “She’s out of Control,” Joy Division “Girl of sixteen, whole life ahead of her. Slashed her wrists, bored with life. Didn’t succeed, thank the Lord.” – “Blasphemous Rumors” – Depeche Mode “Back to the howling old owls. Hunting the horny back toad” – “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road” – Sir Elton and “Before you cross the street. Take my hand. Life is what happens to you. While you’re busy making other plans” – “Beautiful Boy” – John Lennon. He always nailed it. They all do.
One can be sure the songs in my head while I am shooting affect how they are taken. I might adjust the ISO and F-stop based on how I am feeling. In case you were wondering, I do not listen to music on my iPhone. I hate headphones. I used to wear my Walkman’s headphones slightly above or below my ears. Sometimes I still do that with headphones when I am Zooming or watching things on YouTube. Songs always go through my head. It gets me through the days. Or as Robert Smith says, “In Between Days.” That’s on the “Head on the Door” album.
Bees Fetching Honey – Edited to the Cure
The other day, I was editing some images from Emmons Avenue, Sheepshead Bay and the New York Botanical Garden while listening to Sir Elton. Then I switched to a mix of The Cure, Echo and the Bunnymen, Erasure, and Psychedelic Furs, Siouxie and the Banshees. Erasure brings back memories of camp. The Cure, Erasure, and the Furs bring back old memories of dating and driving around in my old Caddy with the girls I liked. We usually listened to those bands. My first date was to see The Cure with Love & Rockets and the Pixies as the openers. We were too young to buy beer. We shared M&M’s. I still think about all of this when certain songs play.
The Hanging Flower – Edited to The Cure
Look at the images and see if you can tell the difference. This was written and edited to Led Zep’s “How the West Was Won.” With final touches while listening The latest from The Cure: “Songs of a Lost World.”
I am not writing about Peter Gabriel, who wrote the hit “In Your Eyes,” or U2, whose hit “With or Without You” broke them into the major leagues of music. They were there well before that tune. Think of “Sunday Bloody Sunday” or their debut, “Stories for Boys.” Like Paul Simon, I have a Nikon camera and love to take photographs. I do have a Kodak Instamatic X-15. So, a Kodachrome, I can deal with. I bought it last summer at a street fair at the Brooklyn Botanic Garden. This camera was introduced in 1963. By 1970, it had sold several million. Probably similar to the number of albums sold by Genesis, Gabriel’s solo work when he departed Genesis, and certainly U2. The man I bought it from told me it works. The other day, I was in B&H, and they told me they have film for it. I need to check the camera and see what I need. Remember film? In camp, my Assistant Scoutmaster Larry had a Polaroid. We took tons of shots that printed as they popped out of the camera.
But this story is not about cameras. But more about seeing things with your eyes. One of my closest friends is an eye doctor and a great swimmer (his swimming hole required excellent vision). Many of you have seen my photos. I share them via email and Instagram, and occasionally LinkedIn. I hope you enjoy what I have included.
New York Botanical Garden
Now, about seeing stuff in your eyes. I often spend weekends shooting photos at the Brooklyn or the New York Botanical Gardens, the South Street Seaport, and Museum Mile. Then, there are the days I go to one of the holiest places, Ten Mile River Scout Camps. It is a photographer’s paradise.
A few days ago, I saw the Psychedelic Furs at the Brooklyn Paramount. Before meeting a pal at the Original Junior’s Cheesecake (it’s across the street from the venue) for dinner before the show, I saw the Monet in Venice Exhibit at the Brooklyn Museum. Amazing. I had about two hours before what should have been a few subway stops away to Junior’s. So, I went to the Brooklyn Botanic Garden, which is next to the Brooklyn Museum. Oh, as for what should have been, blame the MTA for making it several more stops and three different trains—life as a New Yorker.
New York Botanical Garden
I strolled the garden without my Nikon. I kept my iPhone in my pocket. I took in the beauty of the gardens with my eyes. It was incredible. I was just so amazed to look at the flowers with my eyes and not through a viewfinder with my thumb and index finger playing with the ISO and F stop. Or clicking away and texting images of the fountain. At this point in the season, many of the flowers are dying. That’s more of a song from The Cure. But there probably isn’t a better songwriter than Robert Smith. The Cure saved me. I am sure they have saved others. The gardens were magical. I thought a little more about what I was seeing. I wasn’t thinking about lighting and what I’d be doing with the images in Creative Cloud. It was simple. These days simplicity is missing.
This experience only makes me think, I need to go back to the Brooklyn Botanic Garden and other places with less equipment. Of course, the shots I take make many people smile and create great conversations. Balance is what I need.
For those of us who never attended Ten Mile River Scout Camps (TMR) or perhaps hiked or camped along the New York State’s Adirondack and Catskill Mountains, along the Finger Lakes Trail, and other parks like Harriman State Park, you might not know what a leanto is. Let me explain. A leanto is a three-walled structure used for sleeping. The front of it is open. You can build a small deck on its front and add screening. You wanna keep the bugs out. But bug juice (a camp drink) is fine.
Cherikee Red
That’s what I lived during my teen years on Chappegat (Chappy) Hill, TMR. Mine had a deck, screening and electricity. It had fridge stocked with Cherikee Red (A now-discontinued super sugary red soda), other soda, etc. We had boxes of Freihofers chocolate chip cookies and home-baked cookies from Noni (my grandmother). I shared it with my camp friend. Many people crashed in it. Some crashed every night.
The inside and outside of my leanto (1988)
We played Risk, ate food from El Monaco’s (Now closed), McDonald’s, and I kept my Frosted Flakes there. I rarely ate the lish (delicious) meals prepared in the Kunatah Dining Hall. May it stand forever. We played music on Bertha. She was the boom box that one of our crashers brought up to TMR. It was a double-deck cassette player with a CD player on top. Remember those? U2 (My bunkmate hated them. Right now, I have mixed opinions on the band I worshipped all my life.), Steely Dan (My bunkmate loved them), The Clash, Depeche Mode, David Bowie, The Rolling Stones, Sex Pistols, The Beatles, The Who, Mojo Nixon, Jethro Tull, Squeeze, The Ramones, XTC, and, unfortunately, Pink Floyd played 24/7.
Camp was the time of my life. I looked forward to it all year. I remember riding around in the “WhoMobile “(A 1966 F-85, A basic version of an Oldsmobile Cutlass). Sometimes the camp staff drove it. I remember when Kousin Keety (Keith) got his license, and we would ride around listening to “Rock Lobster” by the B-52’s. That’s the only song he had on the tape. We just kept playing it.
Where I lived
I drove the “Truckster” (A 1976 blue Cutlass station wagon). I cranked Depeche and U2. Joey cranked Judas Priest and Metallica. Larry, our assistant scoutmaster, would, in his good nature, make fun of us teens and our music. We would drive him around to Peck’s Supermarket (Now Pete’s), the hardware store, and other places to go shopping for camp. And of course, until we lost him, he teased me about my famous episode of getting lost in Hawley, PA, a Wayne County, Pennsylvania, borough along the Lackawaxen River.
We all had fun canoeing down the Delaware River and swimming in the Ten Mile River. Most of us earned many merit badges. There was special list for those who did not earn badges. I never slept. On my first morning in camp, about an hour before wake-up time, I was sitting at a picnic table by the Palace (our office), staring at the black rattle snake in the fish tank. Larry was walking from the willy (latrine) where he may have come from the shower and asked me what I was doing. I said, I don’t sleep. He decided I was the Chappy vampire. Quickly, everyone knew. They still call me Dracula. It’s cool, unlike Bela Legosi, who’s dead. I am flying around.
We had action-packed days. But eventually, some people needed to sleep. So, we retired to our leantos. Chappy closed after the summer of ’88. It should have never closed. That’s another story. My leanto was at the top of the hill. To get to the top, you climbed muddy steps.
After Chappy closed, my leanto was moved to the bottom of the hill. I slept in it during Alumni Weekend of 2009. I visited it on every alumni weekend. The grounds of Chappy were part of the Rock Lake Camps (D1 Kothke, D2 Chappy, D3 Kunatah, and D4 Ihpetonga). Sadly, that section is in the process of being sold. Much of what was there was destroyed, my leanto was marked, “NOT TO BE DESTROYED.”
A leanto mover
I am chair of the Ten Mile River Scout (TMR) Museum, located at TMR’s HQ. At our facility, we have the Dr. Karl E. Bernstein (My camp hero) Cayuga/Kotohke Cabin, a willy (Sadly it is not operational), and the former Kunatah Trading Post, which will soon be the Hal Rosenfeld Museum Annex. My leanto was supposed to be moved to the museum. A week or so ago, one of our trustees cleared the area where it was situated and got it ready to be moved. He went up a few days later with his friend to haul it over. As soon as he arrived, he saw that a machine had crushed it. There’s nothing left. My name and other names had been scribbled all over it when it was alive. When I heard, part of me died. To all my camp friends, remember the trails you hiked and the lakes you jumped into. You never know when they may be taken from you. I am sitting shiva. You’re welcome to join me.
Early this morning, before Old Timer’s Day (OTD), I was doing my usual walk around Macombs Dam Park. That’s the park built in the footprint of the House that Ruth built. I have been to almost every OTD since 1977 or 1978. I stroll the park before every game I attend. I usually run a few miles on the track. Today I did three. My current record is five. Sometimes I do not run all my miles.
At prior OTD’s, I remember seeing The Clipper (Joe DiMaggio), the Mick (Mickey Mantle), Scooter (Phil Rizzuto), The Chairman of the Board (Whitey, Ford), all Hall of Famers that I never saw when they played official ballgames. I saw modern day Old Timers such as Mr. October (Reggie Jackson), The Gator (Ron Guidry), Paul O’Neil, and Mariano Rivera (he got hurt during today’s game) play. I wish The Captain (Derek Jeter) had shown today. After all, we were celebrating the 25th anniversary of defeating the Mutts (Mets) in the World Series. That night, Jeter became the first MLB player to be named All-Star Game and World Series MVP in the same season. He still is. A lot of good things happened to me that day. The victory was the crowning moment.
Today was warm. I need to be hydrated. Some people know of my kidney stone issue. I have “enjoyed” four of them—maybe more. I bought a giant bottle of water from the street vendor near the Metro-North Railroad Station in the park. Thank you, George (Steinbrenner), for getting that station built. I don’t take this train. But people need every option to get to 161 Street. When they built the original station, the Yankees made sure the subway went up there. The Yankees do want people to get to their holy stadium.
The vendor asked me if I wanted a cold bottle. I said, “Do whatever you can do.” The vendor gave me a bottle that was frozen solid. I walked around with it and smashed it against the wall at the railroad station. I broke the ice. Most of it. For some strange reason, the bottle didn’t burst open and saturate me. Things like that usually happen to me.
He saw me smashing the bottle. He yelled, “My friend, come here.” He was holding another bottle. I thought he was gonna give it to me. He said, “Let me see your bottle.” My bottle was open, and he started pouring water from his bottle into mine. The water began to melt. He said, “This is my bottle. But I didn’t drink from it.” Did I trust him?
I kept walking and went to the spot where the Old Timers usually entered the stadium. Years ago, pre-COVID, they emptied the bus and we all stood in awe as Ron Guidry helped the older people, such as Don Larsen and the Chairman, get off the bus.
Today, I saw Jorge Posada (He should be in Cooperstown) pull up and drive into the Stadium. Jack Cury, YES Network broadcaster, exited a car and started walking in. Many people approached him and asked for autographs. He signed everyone’s baseballs, papers, and other items. He shook lots of hands. He looked at me and said, “Do you need anything from me?” I said “How about a picture. He smiled and said, “Let’s do it.” I told him how much I’ve loved his books, and I have them all on my Kindle. He said, I have another one coming out soon. I said, “I will buy it.” We shook hands and he walked into the Stadium. He always wears nice suits (Today, he was wearing Khakis and a YES pique polo shirt). Someone yelled, “No suit?” He waved his arms and laughed. He probably has his wardrobe in his office. I doubt he stuffed it in his backpack. I have a few backpacks and have been made fun of for carrying them forever. Curry showed so much class.
Me with Jack Curry
A bus pulled up and we all stared out. We were hoping that today’s OTD participants, Constantino (Tino) Martinez, Andy Pettitte, Bernie Williams (He should be in Cooperstown), El Duque (Orlando Hernandez), Joe Torre, and others would get off and let us take pictures and sign stuff. Years ago, that happened. Most of those guys were still playing at that time. The bus pulled into the Stadium lot. Who knows who was on it? Two empty buses followed.
I had enough of waiting and went to the Clear line for my usual expedited entry. I passed through security at rapid speed. I always do. The woman in front of me did as well. Security pointed us to the ticket scanning line. She did not have a ticket. The man scanning the tickets told her she couldn’t go in. She was showing a screenshot of a ticket. There’s a huge sign saying you need your official e-ticket to get in. The website says the same thing. The employee kept saying she couldn’t go in and showed her how her ticket would not scan. He nodded towards security. She screamed, she’s a season ticket holder and does this every day. She tried to push her way in and was escorted out. In 2005, I saw something similar at Madison Square Garden when I entered to see U2. Two kids had tickets. They were fake. They screamed at security that they had just paid a man $400 each on the street for these seats, and the man swore they were real. They thought they should be let in. They weren’t. They were forced to exit.
While this woman was throwing her tantrum, the guy scanned my legitimate ticket and went in. This woman showed no class.
As for my frozen water bottle, I decided to let it go. Go into the trash can, that is. A waste of $3. No big deal. I found a woman selling small ones for $1. I bought and sipped it. We won today. I got transferred back to an essential winning season. All was well.
Do I need a Real or Enhanced ID to prove I exist? Should I get one? How difficult does our government make it to obtain one? In 2005, The Real ID Act, was passed by Congress. It enacted the 9/11 Commission’s recommendation that the Federal Government “set standards for the issuance of sources of identification, such as driver’s licenses and identification cards.” I hold a New York State Driver’s License and a US Passport. I’ve been using both as forms of ID for many years. By 2025, travelers must be Real ID-compliant to fly domestically in the United States. A passport or an Enhanced ID state drivers license will allow you to board your jet. I like leaving on a jet plane.
I decided to get the NYS Enhanced ID. I filled out the form and placed the required ID materials (birth certificate, voter ID card, and utility bill — note that a US passport also qualifies) into an envelope. I made my appointment with the NYS DMV.
Last Tuesday, I marched over to the downtown NYS Department of Motor Vehicles for my 12:30 appointment. I was there about 15 minutes early. My phone said I could check in five minutes early. There was no one on the check in line in the DMV. I showed my code to the woman who handled checking people in. She said you’re early. Come back in a few minutes. I saw a text on my phone with a check-in number. I showed it to her. She was shocked and said, I guess you’re checked in. Wait to be called. Almost immediately I was called to a window.
I went to window number 29. It’s no surprise the windows were not in order. I walked around and found it. I saw number 26 and figured I’d see it three windows over. Nope. It was near the lower numbers.
They took my picture and were told to wait to be called. I said, how long. I was told at least two hours. I went back to the check-in woman and asked why, if I had an appointment at 12:30, I needed to wait a minimum of over two hours. She said, ‘Would you really think you’d be seen at the appointment time?’ I said, I understand if there would be a 10- or 15-minute delay. I noted at a doctor’s office you are usually seen a few minutes later than your scheduled appointment time. She said, well, this is the DMV. We only give you an appointment to get you in the door. Then you wait a few hours. I said, why make an appointment. Again, she said to get in. She checked in plenty of people who had no appointments. I walked out around 12:30. Around 3:30, I received a text that it was my time to go to the window and finish up. I was at my desk t work. So, my two-hour wait was over three hours.
They could make it all online. You can take the picture with your phone and email it to us. That’s how I renewed my license a few years ago. Additionally, they required you to present your current driver’s license, which means you met their ID requirements. So why would they need to check again?
I decided I am not going back. I will use my passport to fly domestically. Of course, renewing that requires a trip to the US Post Office. Visiting the post office is always as interesting and efficient as visiting the DMV.
A few weeks ago, I visited Old Navy to purchase its 2025 Independence Day t-shirt and a few pairs of socks. I was leaving for Italy, and I always like to have new socks before I travel. Most of my vacations are walking intensive. Comfy socks make it the best. I wish they were Jox Sox. I wore a pair today. Does anyone remember Jox Sox? My grandmother was the queen of those. She gave us lots of pairs. I forgot to mention I was wearing them earlier when we spoke.
It was nice being in Old Navy. Most of the time, I order from them and other online stores. Occasionally, I order in-store pickup in the Gap, Banana Republic, etc. Those who know me know I am obsessed with buying clothes. I cut that over the last few years. Working from home, all you need are shorts, sweats, and your favorite Yankee or The Cure t-shirt. Nothing’s better. The thing is, I still have clothes I wore in college. Some are back in style. Yes, they all fit me. Some are too loose. I had a super nice Ralph Lauren pink dress shirt. The cuffs were getting ratty. I needed to replace it. I ruminated. I am cutting back on that. I found a beautiful comparable shirt from Theory on Bloomingdales.com. It came. I love it.
A few days ago, I went to Mineola for an eye exam. In the lot next to the doc’s office is Barnes & Noble. I used to be one of those people who spent tons of time there. I read a few books, bought a few, even went on a date at its Starbucks. She was off the wall. But the store is excellent. In a recent conversation, someone mentioned that they have excellent air conditioning. That’s true, and it was fun browsing the aisles. I picked up a few things and read them over the weekend.
We know that since the COVID outbreak, retail shopping in stores nosedived. Yes, it is easier to order online. In many cases, it is less expensive. You will need to wait one to two days to receive your items. I am not so desperate that I need things instantly.
Additionally, I live an outer borough in the city and don’t have a car. So it’s not easy to schlepp stuff back on the subway and walk a few blocks to my building. Even when I’m shopping near my building, I can only carry so much.
But there is something about being in a store. Walking through Barnes & Noble was great. The store was busy, and the line was long. I saw lots of younger kids and teens racing through the toy department and flipping through books. In many cases, Mom or Dad was behind them, telling them what they would buy them—same thing at Old Navy.
These days, shopping at stores is not without its issues. Sometimes you cannot find plain old brown or black dress socks. All the socks have crazy patterns or pictures of characters. Yeah, I have those. Additionally, I have my official Boy Scouts of America socks. My mom still teases me about those.Additionally, a two-pack of Pataday eye drops is $10 less on Amazon compared to CVS or Walgreens. When I was on vacation, I spent a lot of time in stores buying things I couldn’t find at home. It was fun. Bottom line, we should spend some more time in stores. But be smart enough to know when to buy online.
Have You Heard of the Beatles or Do You Lead an Insular Life?
By Mitchell Slepian
Everyone reading this knows John Lennon was murdered. You might wonder why I would say this. Sadly, some people are unaware of this. Many of those people do not even know who he was. I was with a few yesterday. It was not the first time. I have an eclectic group of friends. Some join me at the Garden, Beacon, and other venues to see The Cure, Depeche Mode, Modest Mouse, Bruce Springsteen, and Ringo and the All-Starr Band. We’ve been to the Guggenheim together or independently. They know it is one of the world’s premier art museums. I’m a member. If things work out, I will visit its Venice venue soon. I asked a friend to join me there (Museum Mile. Not Venice). He said, “What is that? Is that one of the bands you go to?” I asked someone to join me at the Brooklyn Museum. I received a similar response when I asked to visit the Guggenheim.
Everyone knows my life revolves around the Bronx Bombers. I hope we win this year’s World Series. I am concerned. Someone asked me if I had ever been to Citi Field. I said, of course. I was there the night Paul McCartney was its musical opener in 2009. He opened by playing the same set the Beatles played at Shea Stadium in ’65. The guy said, “Who is Paul McCartney?”
One day, I was sitting with a group of people who were discussing submarines. I said, “Was it yellow?” They looked at me like I had two heads. I might. But I said, “Ya know we all live in Yellow Submarine. Ringo’s song.” I got blank looks and said, ‘The Beatles.” They said they did not think a beetle could survive on a submarine. I said, “Forget it.”
Once I was with a group of people, and someone said “That sounds like a Seinfeld episode. “The following comment was now you are sounding like Darth Vader. Someone was with us who did not know whom we were talking about. The list goes on and on. Some have never heard of Snoopy, Elvis (Presley), Mick Jagger, U2, the Flintstones and so many others.
On my last day of my Milan tour, I had to jet out of the farewell dinner to see Paquita at Teatro alla Scalla. The tour guide asked me to let her know how it was. I sent her a WhatsApp. I thought it was wonderful. She said, “You have a fine appreciation of the Italian arts.” During the tour, we had many discussions about art and opera.
Now I have friends who will not see The Who with me. But would see Erasure. Or would not see Jackson Browne. I think they are running on empty or don’t want to stay a little longer. But these people would be happy to hear ‘Rio’ (Duran Duran).
I am either too active or never slow down. Or like to explore.
About three weeks ago, I flew a Delta jet from JFK Airport to Milan. It was a fantastic trip. I loved it so much, I will be returning to Italy. This time, I will go to Sicily – The Boot of it. My flight took off as scheduled. I had my usual aisle seat and was reading on my Kindle. I have allergies. My eyes itched, and my nose was stuffed. I figured it was the normal thing for me.
A few hours into the flight, we heard an announcement that a cat had escaped from its pet carrier. At first, many of us didn’t understand the announcement. The audio was not as clear as it should have been. I asked a flight attendant, ‘Did they say cat?’ She said yes. I now knew why my flight was dreadful. For the record, I have been to Russia (2012). Did the Ukrainian girls knock me out, and did they leave the West behind? Not at all.
Everyone was looking under their seats for this creature that impacts your breathing, makes your eyes tear, and your throat itch. Finally, someone found it. The proud owners who were one row behind me held it up with the smile a boxer holds up when he wins the title belt.
I was so disgusted. I asked the captain why they allow cats on flights. I knew he could not answer. He nodded in approval and said, “That’s out of our control.” I knew that.
Years ago, I was invited to lunch at someone’s house. They invited many people over the years. Few went. Many people said you should go. The house is not the cleanest, and the food will not be great. But be nice.
I walked in. The woman spent about an hour cutting a cucumber. The husband was reading. I felt unwell from the moment I arrived. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a furball jump off the couch.
I sat there for over an hour, ate the cucumber and some other food that was of poorer quality than what you’d find in a college dining hall or summer camp. We had a boring conversation. I reached a point where I could not see or breathe. Eventually, I thanked them and left. I could have run for a gold medal, running the two blocks back to my apartment. I got in, stripped down, and jumped into the longest shower I’ve ever taken. My clothes went into a garbage bag, and I delivered them to the dry cleaners.
Eight days later, Alana and Marc left camp and went home. Before they left, Alana nursed her beauties. Marc sat with the Woodsman and listened. On the eighth day, the herd of buffalo approached the babies and blessed them.
Marc got behind the wheel. Alana carefully placed the babies into her Infiniti. Alana put Depeche Mode onto the sound system and signaled it was time to go. They drove straight to the temple. Their parents were waiting. Yes, these two have parents. They are very strange. Anat, Jen, and all of the others were waiting with big smiles and gifts.
The mohel was ready to perform the circumcision on the boy. He stared at the knife. The girl was beside him. She, too, stared at the knife. The mohel gave him some Shiloh wine. Anat knew the owner of the vineyard. She had him make a remarkable vintage. Marc and Alana gave out a bottle to all attendees. The girl snagged some of it. Was this a sign she would be like her mom? As the mohel cut the foreskin, the boy just smiled. His eyes fluttered. They wanted to name him Palpatine. But settled for David Benjamin. He has this funny look in his eyes. Of course, Marc and Alana were waiting to see what he would do. Would he shoot lightning out of them, like Palpatine? The two were quite worried about how powerful their children would be. To the best of their knowledge, they are the only two born to parents who both have powers. The girl was named Sarah. They were thinking of Leia or Ashoka. Or maybe just Tano. They would probably call their kids the Star Wars nicknames. Sarah and David Benjamin seemed happy. They were dressed in cute, all-black baby clothes from Sisley.
They went to the basement of the shul for bagels and lox. Jerry was bouncing around. He was making sure Gillil was ok. A great big brother he is. Suddenly, they heard some loud noises outside.
Jay was bashing cars outside the temple. Anat immediately pelted him with raisins and dates. She was taking care of business. But Jay snuck away and entered the delivery door by the kitchen and started shooting glass. A piece shot off Sarah and Benjamin David. Marc and Alana ran over to their babies. They looked like they were smirking. They were in their strollers. The two kids looked at each other.
Suddenly, the strollers started moving. Marc and Alana got nervous. They knew the kids were ok. They knew some of their friends were waiting for this moment. They wanted it to be delayed. They certainly didn’t want their parents and other relatives to see what would happen next.
Mitchell's thoughts, photos, etc. 