Does Constantly Checking Your Email Give You Peace of Mind?

Or Does it Drive You Crazy?

By Mitchell Slepian

I remember back in the day, when you couldn’t check your email on your phone or by logging in on another computer. You had to check it on the computer you normally used. Years ago, my sister and I shared an email address. I figured out how to check it from other computers. I would log on and email her. She got a little nervous and scared. She had no idea how I was doing this. Of course, I explained everything. But I had fun for a day or two.

I remember when I was at a PR firm and on a Friday, booked the CEO (Scott D. Cook) of the company I was representing (Intuit) onto CNBC. He was supposed to be on the following Monday. I was in NYC, and Cook was in Mountain View, Calif. The producers were working out the final details. They, a coworker, and I left each other voicemails all weekend. We were checking nonstop. Monday came around, and we worked everything out with Cook’s executive assistant and he did a great interview.

These days, all we would have to do is send a few emails or texts, and everything would be set. In some jobs, you need to constantly check your email. But the question I would like to raise is: how much checking is too much? Do you check immediately before going to bed and as soon as you wake up? Does it kill when you need to turn your phone off during Broadway shows, the New York Philharmonic, and operas? When is checking excessive? Can you sit through dinner with family and friends without logging on?

The best part is that most of the time, all your emails come from your project management applications, such as Basecamp or monday.com, letting you know the web update is live or that edits have been made to a document. Oh, and there are sales pitches for things your company will never need. Or people reaching out to you to forward their resumes to HR. These people are not people you know. They are just spamming everyone they can secure an email address for. 

For the record, before I sat down to write this, I was at the gym. My workday was over. I was doing some core work and checked my email. On the super-long train ride into work that morning (due to a stalled train at a major station), I held back from checking and kept reading “Remain in Light” by Chris Frantz. I tried my best to stick with the book on my Kindle and not try to live that wildlife by checking my office’s email.  I even skipped checking my personal email accounts. I have too many of those.

Bottom line, I think it’s fine to check it in moderation. But I always remember that the email you’re waiting for, or think is coming will probably come in due time.

It is Pricier Being Single

Single People Are Discriminated Against

By Mitchell Slepian

Being single sucks. It costs more, and you are discriminated against. In many cases, it is not our fault. Yes, I know married couples with children experience the costs of housing for themselves and their offspring. It is not cheap.

However, what I want to get at is why being single is more expensive than most people think. Do you travel? I have been to many places, including Iceland, Ireland (both Northern Ireland and the Republic), Italy, and Israel. I guess I like “I” nations. I doubt I will ever go to Iraq, Iran, or Indonesia. I have also visited Austria, Germany, Hungary, Spain, and Russia. I am leaving out a few places. But you get the point. I love booking these trips and have a fantastic travel agent. I am a repeat traveler with certain touring companies and receive the appropriate discounts. I always pay in full when booking. You often get another discount for doing that. Sounds great. The discount means nothing when they tack on several hundred dollars for being a solo traveler. Some tours do not permit it.

Yes, singles tours are available. They are usually cheesy Caribbean cruises where they do games to hook you up. They are not trips to the spots as mentioned earlier. I have only been on one cruise. It is an orange boat – The Staten Island Ferry. Once I got to steer it. I had fun. That cruise is free. Anything can get on it. If you haven’t sailed on it, go for it, and you will see what I mean by ‘anything’.

Staten Island Ferry

I go to several concerts and shows every month. Shows can be theater, opera, ballet, and other forms of entertainment. Concerts could be the NY Philharmonic or at the Beacon, Garden, and Radio City Music Hall. Sometimes I go solo. Sometimes I go with my “concert friends.” We are single and attend tons of shows. For many reasons, I prefer aisle seats. I want it to be easy if I need to get up and run to the bathroom, concession stand (I rarely buy anything there), or walk out of the show because I am bored or the performer or show is offensive. I have walked out of a few: Hadestown, Patti Smith, and Porgy & Bess stand out. Lately, the Beacon and Radio City require you to buy the aisle seat and the one next to it. I struggle with this.

Lincoln Center

In some cases, I bought the third seat. I also reached out to my group and found someone willing to join me. Alas, I got my aisle seat. For the time being, City Winery, Regal, and Yankee Stadium let me pick any seat I want. Hey, I am paying, so I should be able to buy what I want. My choices are to stay home or buy two seats and have no one seated next to me. But why should I pay more?

Dining out is just as discriminatory. I go to restaurants solo all over the city. In some places, I know the bartenders and restaurant managers quite well. I have my preferred seating, and they welcome me with a glass of Sauvignon Blanc. In others, the first thing they do is try to seat you at the bar. In some places, that’s my preferred spot. Others, I want a table. Recently, I attended a performance by the NY Philharmonic. Thankfully, David Geffen Hall and the other theaters at Lincoln Center are not discriminatory. You can sit wherever you want to pay for.

Lincoln Center

Try going food shopping, whether it’s an online grocer (my preference) or a supermarket. I eat lots of fresh veggies. Most of the packages are made for families, for example, a three or four-pack of corn on the cob, peppers, carrots, etc. I love apple cider donuts. These days, I rarely eat junk. But would buy one. Trader Joe’s and the other stores do not sell them singly. You need to buy a pack of four or six. These and the veggies would not last long enough for me to eat them. I have heard from friends about health care insurance costs when they are buying for themselves.  They get ripped off.

Some are single by choice, while others are single for other reasons. Whatever they are, we deserve to be treated fairly.