Pizza – Mitchell's thoughts, photos, etc.

Dan’s Attacked With Moldy Bread

Jerry and Gili were playing quietly. Gili was getting bigger. Jerry watched over her. She was strong. She still loved her milk. Sarah and David Benjamin were eating their baby food. Anat was briefed on their superpowers. She was ready. She expected her day with the twins and her kids to be relaxed.

The Drop on the Cyclone, Luna Park, Brooklyn, NY

She played Bauhaus the Cure in the background. She understood the kids would listen to whatever they wanted when they got older and developed an appreciation for music. But she wanted to push them towards goth. Who wouldn’t?

Anat was working on her taxes. In a switch from his usual beat of Staten Island’s south shore, Dan was out in the frigid weather patrolling Coney Island undercover. His expertise was required. Nothing unusual was happening. The Coney Island Polar Bears were in the water. People were eating hot dogs in Nathan’s, and parents took their bundled-up kids to the NY Aquarium. It seemed like a normal winter day at the beach. He texted Anat he’d be home in about two or three hours and asked if she wanted him to pick up pizza from L&B Spumoni Gardens. Of course, she said yes. Saying no would be criminal.

The polars bears were exiting the water. Near the Cyclone, some kids were goofing off. But nothing Dan had to address. As he walked back to his car, he noticed a tall girl, about 18 or 19, wearing a stained blue sweatshirt with the name “Christy A.” running down both sleeves. She was taunting some of the other kids. Dan figured it was just a group of kids goofing off. He didn’t see it as a threat. Until he saw moldy, stale bread flying at some of the kids. One piece clocked a girl in the head. She fell. He raced over to her to see if she needed help. Bread with larvae was flying everywhere. He saw Christy A. shooting it out of her mouth and hands. He yelled at her to stop. She started to jump up and down. Pieces of bread almost nailed him in the throat. Christy’s hair was fire red, as was her face. He pulled out his weapon and fired three shots. All were knocked down by bread.

Christy raced toward the subway station. Dan chased her. She nailed him in the eyes. He temporarily lost his vision. She hopped on the F line. She did tap her OMNY card. At least she didn’t jump the fare.

Dan immediately texted Anat. You’d think he would have texted the Coney Island Precinct that is in the subway station at Stillwell Avenue. He knew this was something that Anat and her “family” would handle better.

When a Tour Group Becomes a Family

By Mitchell Slepian

About a month ago, I came back from a tour of Sicily. I was there for about two weeks. I did start my tour solo, as I arrived a few days before the tour officially kicked off. I saw a lot before I met my new “family.”

I went to the conference room in my Palermo hotel, and we walked over to a nice restaurant. I sat with some people that I wound up eating with several more times. I was solo. There was one other solo traveler. I was the tour photographer. I wasn’t hired for it. It’s just that I was one of only two out of 45 people shooting with a traditional camera v. a mobile device. I was using a Nikon Mirrorless 7.

Sicily is beautiful, I became friends with nearly everyone. Of course, the people originally from Brooklyn and the Bronx were the best. Most people recognized I was from Brooklyn as soon as I started talking. That makes me proud. No other place has the Cyclone, the original Nathan’s, the Brooklyn Museum, and fantastic pizza. Sicily’s pizza is better. Way better. For the record, so is Milan’s.

Everyone on the tour was excellent. Yeah, we had some people that I thought were children of the corn. But we all got along and had a great time. We had a WhatsApp group during the tour run by our guide. She was the only one allowed to post.

Most people wanted to see each other’s photos. Someone made a WhatsApp group for us to use once we got home and went through our shots. It took me a few days to edit with Photoshop. But I posted as I edited. For the next few weeks, we swapped our photos and memories. We all commented. I am happy to say people loved my images. We are in a new year and still chatting.

I look forward to my next tour. I hope I can make a new family.

My Wallet

Is it an Apple, a Coach, or a Jox Sox?

By Mitchell Slepian

These days, many people no longer use traditional leather wallets. You may remember them. They had a billfold and pockets for your license, credit cards, and a picture of your kid or dog. According to a report by Amazon Web Services and PYMNTs in February 2024, 79 percent of Gen Z use digital wallets. Baby boomers and seniors account for 26 percent of the digital wallet users.

Let’s reminisce about the various types of wallets available. They still exist. Let’s start with my first wallet. It was a white Jox Sox. I got the socks from my grandmother. She was and might still be the queen of socks. But they had to be Jox Sox from Thom McAn, a shoe retailer. Sadly, it shuttered its 100-plus stores in 1986. You can still get Jox Sox from Amazon. I have a pair.

In the ’70s, most of us kids kept a dollar or two in our socks. We put coins in them, too. Sometimes, that causes cuts on the soles of our feet or toes. I can remember a quarter or two floating around my sock. The change could tear through our foot protection. My favorite memory was from when I attended the Manhattan Beach Jewish Center Day Camp. The camp would take us on a field trip to L&B Spumoni Gardens to get spumoni. That’s where I developed my love of this precious treat. Our counselors told us to wait for them to get us our spumoni and not to get anything else. We were about 10 years old.

Did we listen? We pulled a dollar out of our sock and got on the line for a Sicilian slice. Back then, a pizza slice cost around 50 or 75 cents. We knew they had the best pizza. They still do. I was last there on Memorial Day. I pulled my money out of my Timberlands wallet. It now costs $9.75 for two slices and a bottle of water.

Please note that the camp is kosher. Why did they take us to L&B? Who knows? They would pack kosher meals for us when we went to the now-closed Action Park (it reopened under another name), the beach, and on overnight trips to Cooperstown. Once, they took us to Yankee Stadium. We snuck over to the concession stands. The counselors told us they had to taste our hot dogs to see if they were kosher. So, we cut a piece off. Yeah, we and some of our trusted counselors ate all sorts of “kosher” crap from the stands in the amusement parks. And wherever else went.

In the 1980s, I attended summer camp, which was the best time of my life. Before I went, my dad handed me an old brown wallet of his. He said I should have one and carry a few dollars in it to buy stuff at the trading post. I took it. I obtained the singles from Larry, who served as our banker and purchased candy from the trading post or a hamburger meal in Bob (Slob, as we called it) Landers.

I carried that wallet with me when I needed to. For the most part, through junior and high school, I kept a dollar or two in my pocket or sock. I arrived at college and needed to carry a little more money. Not much. So, I had the wallet. My girlfriend didn’t like it, as it was worn. She bought me a new one for my birthday. It was nice. I used it. When she dumped me, I went back to the trusty old wallet. Eventually, as I got older, I bought a few. I had a nice Coach wallet from Bloomingdale’s, and I received another one for my birthday from the people at a volunteer group I worked with. They just bought it for me. They had no idea if I was using a worn one or my sock. We had a meeting around my birthday. We had pizza, and they handed me the new wallet.

For the most part, now my iPhone is my wallet. I tap it at the subway turnstile. Yeah, I ditched the MetroCard, too. Eventually, New York City Transit will eliminate them. I tap and pay at the Stadium, Key Food, and most restaurants.

Ultimately, my favorite wallet will always be a sock. Preferably, a Jox.

Marc Gets Home. Kari Thinks. Or Does She?

Marc got home to his apartment. He was right. Alana ordered pizza. She thought he’d be home earlier. It was ice cold by the time he strolled in. She warmed it up in the oven. She said she made him pizza. He laughed. He preferred it cold. It reminded him of eating it in camp or in the dorms. They smiled. Marc enjoyed his warm pizza with a glass of Ramat Naftaly Petit Verdot. He loved the boutique Israeli wineries. They chatted a little about her hangout with Tzipora. She was doing well. As a neuro-ophthalmologist, she was the busiest of their gang. One day, they would go to one of the vampire bars Tzipora used to hang out in. Sometimes, she still goes for a drink. She loved their bloody cocktails.

Meanwhile, Kari was hanging at the South Street Seaport. She was outside on Pier 17, sitting by the boats. She walked over to the boat sidebar and bought a beer. She was wondering if she was in the right place with Jay. She watched him get beat up by a female. She liked how strong women are. But was not happy watching one making mincemeat out of her guy. She knows his kid beat him up. Then she got beat up by the same woman who beat him.

She sipped her Sierra Nevada and thought more. For some reason, she figured she’d stay with him. They had exciting dates. He didn’t have the cash to take her to excellent restaurants, galleries, or fantastic shows. But there was something about this loser she liked. She was worried he’d get beaten again. She knows he has an arrest record.

Jay strolled up to her and kissed her lips as she was sitting there. She responded. They embraced. Tzipora and Eran were nearby. The two had the day off and went to the Seaport to chill. And chill, they did. It wasn’t a warm day. But they enjoyed each other’s company and were always warm when they were together.

For once, Jay was mellow. All of a sudden, he got up and bumped into Eran. They stared at each other. Jay walked away. Eran sat down. Jay came back and started screaming. Eran and Tzipora decided to walk away. Jay tried to punch Eran. Jay’s punch was blocked. Eran kicked him in the chest. Eran, like Marc, had a few black belts. One is in Krav Maga, one is in Shotokan, and a few are from Banana Republic, the Gap, and J. Crew. Both of them thought the ones from the retailers were more important. Jay started firing glass. Eran got closer and kicked his hands. Jay fired harder and almost hit Tzipora. Eran got pissed. He landed a few punches. Tzipora texted Alana. She knows how strong her hubby is. But she was worried Jay might have the upper hand.

Alana heard her phone play “Rio,” and she knew it was Tzipora. She read the text, raced out of her office, and ran to the Seaport. Kari was loving watching her guy hold his own in the fight. She was excited. She was proud.

Her proudness did not last long. Kari’s smiles and cheers were broken when she saw figs fly into Jay’s head. Next, the two of them were drenched in Rosé. Kari started to cry. Eran kicked Jay a few more times. He went down. Alana smiled. Eran thanked her. Tzipora hugged Alana. They held each other tightly. Their lips locked. Eran knows about his wife’s activities. She swore she was done. She and Alana smiled at each other. Tzipora jumped into Eran’s arms and kissed him. Alana walked off.

Bleach Monster, Part IV

bleaching-powder-250x250

Danny woke up with lots of energy. He had a healthy breakfast, some fruit, a glass of low-fat milk and some whole grains. After Murray rescued him at the movie theater he was determined to stay in shape. He needed to rescue himself.

But today was a special day. He had the note that Murray left him hidden under his bed since he got it. It was like his bible. He’d been reading Murray’s words since he ran out of the theater.

The note said, “Meet me in three days at 161 Street. Do not show up at the new “Disney style” stadium. You must make your appearance on the hallowed grounds of the real “Stadium”. I will be waiting for you where right field used to be.”

Danny raced out of his Forest Hills Gardens abode and caught the trains to the South Bronx. He knew this would be good for him. How good he had no clue. His life was going to change forever. Danny had no idea how good it was gonna get.

Funny thing is he has no idea that Murray is the “Bleach Monster” and Dani is the “Wine Girl.” Funny most of Murray’s girlfriends are “whine girls”. Remember Danny was on the floor crying and bleeding when Murray and Dani unleashed their wrath on his tormentors.

Danny hopped off the 4-Line. He glanced at the new Stadium. He walked over to the spot, Paul O’Neill used to man in the good ‘ole days. He was so excited. He was short of breath from all of his running around.

Murray snuck up behind him and put his hand on Danny’s left shoulder. Danny jumped back in fear.

“That’s what I thought,” echoed Murray. We need to wack the fear out of you. Don’t worry. That’s my job.

“How?” inquired, Danny.

“Just leave that to me.”

The two guys talked and walked around this holy site. Both were dressed in N.Y. Yankees apparel from head to toe. Murray sleeps in Yankees pajamas.

Murray bought Danny a bottle of water.

“Ok, Danny, I know you want to lose weight and get your butt into shape. We need you to be healthy.”

Danny smiled. He felt like Murray was the big brother he never had. He finally had someone other than his mommy and daddy to take him under their wing.

Murray told him to forget about what the doctor and nutritionist said. He said you are now my project. I will train you. Danny was happy. However, he was nervous.

One of the crazies that hung around this sacred site came up to them. At first Murray ignored him. The guy got a little antsy and was starting yelling at them. Murray told Danny to start walking.

The nut job spits at them. They kept walking. The guy threw and empty soda bottle and hit Danny in the back.

“Be calm,” Murray yelled to Danny. The poor kid just stood there lifelessly. Murray looked at the deranged man and said hit me.

The guy ran toward Murray with his hands clenched into fists. Danny got so scared he shut his eyes. The guy threw a punch at Murray. Of course, he missed. But Murray countered with gallons of bleach. He drenched the loony. The guy hit the floor. He was breathing. So Murray figured that was a good sign. He probably learned his lesson. He likely needed a hospital. Murray pulled out his iPhone and dialed 911 and reported a grungy guy who passed out near the Stadium. An ambulance was on the way.

Murray grabbed Danny and said it is time to walk. They hiked over toward the row of stores that were at one time directly across the street from the House that Ruth Built.

Danny told Murray his favorite food was pizza with olives and sun dried tomatoes. Murray said “WTF. Let’s get a small pie. But remember if we were at a ballgame and we will be at many, you will only eat the things, I allow you to. I have a very strict ritual at when I go to ballgames. Consider it part of my Yankee Commandments.”

“Why do you like me?”

“I saw you in pain at the theater. I help people. I don’t want your problems to continue. We’ve all been in scary situations. Yours will soon end. I just need to figure out what powers you have.”

“I have no powers. I’m just a chubby high school kid who gets picked on. I try to lose weight. But I cannot keep it off.”

Murray smiled and took a bite of his slice.

“Maybe you don’t need to keep it off. I mean we will have you lose the weight. But maybe you need to gain it back once in a while.”

Murray’s eyes were glowing. Danny was perplexed.

Tomorrow you will run a few laps on the Forest Hills High School track. You will eat healthy for the next four weeks. I will be checking on you each Sunday. I will text you the meeting location about two hours before.

The next month went by. Danny was getting slimmer and stronger. Murray was often watching him run. Danny had no clue he was being watched. Murray saw the poor kid’s blubber bouncing up and down as he jogged. Each footstep made him stronger. The fat was wearing off.

It was like just falling right off him.

Murray wondered if he could use his falling fat to his advantage.

It was just rolling off the kid.

They had their Sunday meetings. Everyone was happy. Danny’s grades, which we always good had become even better. Murray wanted to add this kid to his army. Dani still had no idea Murray knew of her powers. One day he’d confront her. But for now he wanted her to think she was keeping a big secret.

Danny’s mom was so proud of her son. She saw how hard he was trying to be healthy. She had no idea about his mentor. She took him to the Gap to buy a few new pairs of jeans, khakis and some smaller piques, t-shirts and sweaters. Everyone was happy. She was completely healed from her gardening accident.

As they were walking down Austin Street toward Continental Ave. The kids that were bleached in the theater were hanging in front of McDonald’s. They never bothered him. No one did. The girl who attacked him in the theater asked if she could take him to the movies. He told her no. This was a first for her. No one ever turned down a date with her.

Danny was becoming a man. He knew this girl was superficial. If he got fat again, the girl would dump him.

He didn’t know of Murray’s plan. But Murray had to run some tests to see if it’d work. The tests would occur in a few weeks if all went to schedule.

The girl ran to the obnoxious kids with her head down. She said go after him. The kids didn’t want to. But she told them if they wanted to be her friend they had to attack him again.

They got nervous. But followed orders. These mindless boys thought with only one thing. They started taunting Danny. His mom told him to walk faster. He did and was doing well. Murray and Stacey were walking out of Banana Republic. He just spent a boatload of money on his princess.

Murray saw what was going on. He knew Danny wasn’t ready for this. He needed to work out some more. His mom tried to make him walk faster. But he held his ground and yelled back at the kids.

“You can’t beat me this time. Hey, you didn’t even beat me in the theater several weeks ago. You may have knocked me down. But as I remember it was you and the dumb bitches that you were with that got your you know what’s kicked. I am stronger than all of you now.”

The kids charged him. He lost his breath. They knocked him and his mom down.

“No one messes with my mom,” he bellowed.

Within seconds globs of fat start rolling off him. These globs got rock solid. But had a bounce. They smacked right into all the nasty kids and knocked them down like dominoes.

Dani was on the corner. She saw all of this. She knew Murray had been working with troubled teens. She was now wondering if this was his “work”. She knew it had to be. But waited patiently. She saw the “cool girls” and their boyfriends rolling toward Forest Gardens in pain. The girl Danny turned down got up and tried to lunge herself at him. He was caught off guard, as he was wiping his mom’s face.

He couldn’t let her get hurt again. None of the good people would get hurt as this girl ran toward Danny, Dani shot her between the eyes with wine.

Murray watched all this from about ten feet away. He was so happy. Stacey was oblivious to it all. She was too busy staring at the bags of clothes she just got. She was already begging him to put this stuff away in his apartment and to take her to Bloomingdale’s.

We all know Murray is a sap. Of course, he told Stacey he would do whatever she wants. That was something one his new superheroes would have to work on with him.

Danny got up from mom and saw Murray by his side. “I see you got into a fight.”

“Are you mad at me?”

“No. You had to defend yourself and mom. Did you know that globs of your fat spun off you? They took out the kids who were going to beat you.”

“I know. Was this your plan?”

Murray smiled and broke into a laugh.

He explained to him that it was. He did say it was very early to tell if his powers would work. He also said that he would have to keep working out. But every so often he had to put on some weight.

When it was time for that Murray would text him when they would meet at the pizzeria by the Stadium.

They shook hands and everyone went their separate ways.

Dani saw Murray and Danny chatting. She was onto them. Or was she?