Tag: Wedding

Wedding plans continue

Anat woke up with a splitting headache. She knew she was fine. It was just jitters about her wedding. She and Dan set a date. But she had so much work to do. As smart as she is, She’s completely clueless about wedding planning. They knew they’d honeymoon in Israel. That was about all she was able to plan.

She was still ruminating over talking to her parents. She wanted them to see how she cleaned up. Ann suggested she give it more thought. She knew what Anat had been like. She remembered their first meeting when the police brought Jerry to the children’s center.

Anat sat at her desk and cranked Bauhaus. She wasn’t sure what her wedding song would be. She thought it’d be cute to dance with Jerry. The kid was just getting into Joy Division. So, she’d pick one of their tunes. The only argument she had with Dan was over the dress. He was hoping for her to be all dressed in white. She wanted all black with black make-up and nail polish. She won. But decided to just excite him she may wear white panties.

She stepped away from her desk and went outside. Jay was standing right in front of her building. He was ranting about getting Jerry back. He didn’t see her. She snuck up behind him and unloaded raisins and apricots. They smacked right into his neck. He turned around and tried to launch glass at her beautiful blue eyes. She ducked and refired. She plugged the dried fruit up his nose. He opened his mouth to breathe.


She filled his mouth with raisins. He started to choke. She kicked him in the knees. He went down. She texted Dan that he was at her building and acting crazy. She kicked him a few more times. She heard sirens.

A squad pulled up and they saw him on the ground. The officers assumed he was stoned. His eyes were bloodshot, and he had dried fruit all over him. They cuffed him and shoved him into the car. Anat was pleased. But knew he’d escape.

Alana to the rescue

Jake was sifting through Jen’s phone. He couldn’t believe he had to call his wife’s ex to save her.  However, the circumstances were unusual.  He texted Marc.  No answer. He was being pelted with prunes, raisins and apricots. Many landed on Jen’s tummy.  Hospital security was knocked out by the dried fruit.

All of a sudden, Alana and Tzipora were walking by.  Alana met Tzipora at the hospital to go over Tzipora’s wedding. Eran and she were going to wed.  Every now and then Tzipora still convinced Alana to jump into bed.

They heard people screaming.  Tzipora said the yells were probably an accident victim. Alana didn’t think so.  She heard these screams before. They were different. She saw Anat attacking Jen. Jake was down for the count. Alana looked at Tzipora and smiled.

“Anat leave her alone. Let bygones be bygones. We were all messed up when we were young.”

Anat sneered.  “I’d love to. But I can’t. She should know what it felt like.”

Alana had enough. She unleashed red wine. It splattered all over Anat. She hit her right in the eyes. Some went up her nose.  Funny thing is it didn’t do anything to remove her dirt. It just caked on. But it did slow her down.

Jen was raced into the delivery room. Jake followed. His box of cigars was destroyed.  But he could care less.

Anat got up and pelted Alana with cannonball sized raisins.  Alana ducked.  This time with Anat, she was clearly in control.  She sprayed Anat again and again. White and red.

Anat jumped back. She started to walk away. But Alana unleashed her full arsenal.  She hadn’t fought with apples and figs for a while. But knew you can’t count Anat out. Alana was going for the kill.

All of a sudden all stopped to the sound of a babies’ first cry.

1200px-Sunmaid-Raisin-Pile

Jen and Jake Get Married. Or do they?

Jen’s and Jake’s Antelope Island, Salt Lake wedding was rapidly approaching. Why Antelope Island? Years ago, Jake hiked it when he was on a business trip and loved the watching the buffalo roam. He believes that this animal is very spiritual. No one ever understood why.

Much planning went into it. Jake was fairly well off. So he was able to provide transportation to and from for those in need. He kept his financial status quiet. Jen loved him because of him. Not his money. She was never that type of woman. They figured Salt Lake was safe from Anat, too. Jen didn’t want Marc and Alana there to provide security services. She wanted a peaceful wedding and an amazing  honeymoon in Aruba.

The big day finally arrived. All the guests looked beautiful. But no one looked prettier than Jen. The photographer took great shots of them and the herd of bison that was in the distance.

The wedding was about to begin. Everyone looked beautiful and the weather was perfect. The rabbi called everyone to order. Jake looked so strong and Jen looked like a movie star.

All of a sudden the herd of buffalo came charging at the chuppah. Anat was riding the lead buffalo. She jumped off and started hitting everyone with dates, prunes and the scary and deadly raisin.

“You were so stupid to send out online invites and post a website about this golden day. I hacked everything. The wedding is over. It’s over.”

Jen burst into to tears. Jake tried to hold her. But he was pelted with dried fruit.

They had no idea what to expect next. Their families were running. But the buffalo were charging. People always look at the beauty of the buffalo. Most people forget they are not docile animals.

If they didn’t get help soon there will be a lot seriously injured and perhaps even dead people.