Category: Uncategorized

Kari Continues to Think

Kari was sitting in her bedroom at home. She lived with her mom. She was thinking about life. She didn’t work much. Neither did Jay, for that matter. He worked odd jobs and never stayed at any too long. He lived in a hovel of a basement apartment at his dad’s place. Dad was ancient and likely had dementia. But he muddled along.

Kari was by herself and cranking Love & Rockets. “No New Tale to Tell” was playing. She never had a new tale to tell. She watched her boyfriend get beat up a few times. The guy could not carry on an intelligent conversation. Neither could she. They were a perfect match. Their souls were meant for each other. However, Kari wondered if she could do better. She texted Jay. He sent a few emojis. Kari was not a fan of those. She wanted to chat with her boyfriend in actual text. Not cutesy symbols. She wanted him to put in effort and show he loved her. Kari wanted him to tell her things.

While texting Kari, Jay sat on a Battery Park City bench. He was thinking about shooting glass at someone. He didn’t care that the foursome of Alana, Anat, Jerry, and Marc would probably find him and shut his antics down. He knows Anat is pregnant. He imagined in a few months there would be a fifth.

Marc Gets Home. Kari Thinks. Or Does She?

Marc got home to his apartment. He was right. Alana ordered pizza. She thought he’d be home earlier. It was ice cold by the time he strolled in. She warmed it up in the oven. She said she made him pizza. He laughed. He preferred it cold. It reminded him of eating it in camp or in the dorms. They smiled. Marc enjoyed his warm pizza with a glass of Ramat Naftaly Petit Verdot. He loved the boutique Israeli wineries. They chatted a little about her hangout with Tzipora. She was doing well. As a neuro-ophthalmologist, she was the busiest of their gang. One day, they would go to one of the vampire bars Tzipora used to hang out in. Sometimes, she still goes for a drink. She loved their bloody cocktails. 

Meanwhile, Kari was hanging at the South Street Seaport. She was outside on Pier 17, sitting by the boats. She walked over to the boat sidebar and bought a beer. She was wondering if she was in the right place with Jay. She watched him get beat up by a female. She liked how strong women are. But was not happy watching one making mincemeat out of her guy. She knows his kid beat him up. Then she got beat up by the same woman who beat him. 

She sipped her Sierra Nevada and thought more. For some reason, she figured she’d stay with him. They had exciting dates. He didn’t have the cash to take her to excellent restaurants, galleries, or fantastic shows. But there was something about this loser she liked. She was worried he’d get beaten again. She knows he has an arrest record.

Jay strolled up to her and kissed her lips as she was sitting there. She responded. They embraced. Tzipora and Eran were nearby. The two had the day off and went to the Seaport to chill. And chill, they did. It wasn’t a warm day. But they enjoyed each other’s company and were always warm when they were together.

For once, Jay was mellow. All of a sudden, he got up and bumped into Eran. They stared at each other. Jay walked away. Eran sat down. Jay came back and started screaming. Eran and Tzipora decided to walk away. Jay tried to punch Eran. Jay’s punch was blocked. Eran kicked him in the chest. Eran, like Marc, had a few black belts. One is in Krav Maga, one is in Shotokan, and a few are from Banana Republic, the Gap, and J. Crew. Both of them thought the ones from the retailers were more important. Jay started firing glass. Eran got closer and kicked his hands. Jay fired harder and almost hit Tzipora. Eran got pissed. He landed a few punches. Tzipora texted Alana. She knows how strong her hubby is. But she was worried Jay might have the upper hand. 

Alana heard her phone play “Rio,” and she knew it was Tzipora. She read the text, raced out of her office, and ran to the Seaport. Kari was loving watching her guy hold his own in the fight. She was excited. She was proud.

Her proudness did not last long. Kari’s smiles and cheers were broken when she saw figs fly into Jay’s head. Next, the two of them were drenched in Rosé. Kari started to cry. Eran kicked Jay a few more times. He went down. Alana smiled. Eran thanked her. Tzipora hugged Alana. They held each other tightly. Their lips locked. Eran knows about his wife’s activities. She swore she was done. She and Alana smiled at each other. Tzipora jumped into Eran’s arms and kissed him. Alana walked off.

Marc heads home

Marc woke up to a cool breeze. He’s not much of a sleeper. He thinks he slept well. He took a walk over to the lake and jumped in. He toweled off, had some cereal and juice, and jumped into his car for the trip back home. He texted Alana, told her how much he missed her, and told her she would be here next time. She wrote back about how much fun she had with Tzipora. She said all was clean. Marc knows about their liaisons. He could care less.

Marc hit the expressway and cruised most of the way to the Smiths and Echo & The Bunnymen. Meanwhile, Jay was sitting home in his dump of an apartment. It looked like a welfare motel. He barely had the money to pay his rent. Kari came over. She did not look happy. She told him what happened on the beach with Alana. Jay punched a wall. His hand started to bleed. He lit a joint and cracked open a beer. He guzzled it down like a frat boy. Of course, he never went to college. He barely finished high school. The two argued for a little while.

Marc was making great time. Alana texted and said she was cooking dinner. Marc wondered what she was making. She is not known for cooking. Neither is he. Marc figured she was ordering takeout, and she’d warm it up. She thought she was cooking since she turned on the oven to warm up the schnitzel.

Anat was getting tired. She was in her third trimester. She hoped the last few weeks would be peaceful. Dan was busy buying baby items. They refused to do a gender reveal party. They wanted a surprise. They would be thankful and happy with whatever Hashem blessed them with. She would name the child after her grandmother no matter what. Jerry was busy practicing his olive throwing. The kid is getting stronger. Jen even called Anat to see how she was feeling. Anat laughed and smiled.

Marc Goes to Camp

Marc had the day off. When he woke up, he told Alana he was going to camp. This time, he told her, not like the last time when he just snuck away. He asked her to play hooky. She had work to do. Marc understood. Alana also had plans to hook up with Tzipora after work. The hook-up would just be for dinner. Tzipora was very happily married. She was in surgery today. She had to work on a star athlete. Everything was kept under wraps. Afterward, the team and hospital would announce the success of the procedure.

Marc jumped into Alana’s Infiniti and headed upstate. The camp was cold and quiet in the winter. As usual, his iPhone played a heavy camp mix. Some tunes included “Pulling Mussels from the Shell,” “Baba O’Riley”, and mostly the Ramones. Marc was not looking to be sedated. Alana is his Sheena, and whether they had teenage lobotomies is up for debate. One of Marc’s camp friends likely did. He pulled into the shuttered camp and wept. All the happiest places were gone. This camp is a shell of what it was. The original Yankee Stadium is now a park. Greed changed the Stadium, and dumb leadership and a nasty health inspector wreaked havoc in Marc’s playground.

Marc drove to his hill. He walked around and saw the remnant of what once was all. He sat in his old leanto. It was the only thing still left. It was no longer sitting where it was. But Marc was happy it was still there. Lots of fun happened there. Kids leearrnned. Ice-cold Gennys were sipped, and people rested. Marc hoped Jay wasn’t in camp. He remembered the battle he had with him a year or so ago. Jay did not fit well into the program when it ran in the 80s. Jay did not fit in anywhere. Even his ex Diane knew that. Kari is a different story. She is dumber than Diane. At one point, Diane had a friend or two. Kari had none. Well, she has Jay. Let’s see if it lasts. If she starts with Alana again, she might not last.

Marc built a fire. He was hoping for something. But knew it may not happen. As usual Marc was drinking Cherikee Red and eating Freihofer’s. He had some Genny. He was gonna make some burgers. He started playing “Love Will Tear Us Apart” and “Elvis is Everywhere.” For an old camp friend whom he sees once a year, he played some Judas Priest. Marc hates metal. He quickly went to “Behind the Wheel” and kept Depeche playing.

Marc lit the fire and was dreaming about Alana. The two of them were the right match. They had their own screwed-up beliefs but helped so many. Not just by beating people evil people down with their superpowers.

Marc had just bit into a burger when he heard the noise he was dreaming of. Buffalo was coming into his area. Why in Narrowsburg were there buffalo? They are not native to the site. But that did not matter. The old sage of the camp, Marc’s hero, the Woodsman, always traveled with his herd.

Marc was getting excited. The Woodsman jumped off the last buffalo and sat next to Marc. First, they talked about the old latrine, which was now just a hunk of metal a yards away from them. He then told Marc his powers were getting stronger. He told him so was Alana. They will need them, and like he always tells Marc, the two need to stick together. The Woodsman told Marc to go up to the picturesque special window. He said there he would see a vision. The Woodsman gave Marc a special handshake and rode off to the lake.

Jerry and Benjamin

Alana was at work. Things were calm. She needed calm. Marc was in his office. The same headhunter who called and blew him off when he returned her call reached out to him. Marc laughed. She is so pathetic. She wants to get battered with more pomegranates. He deleted her voicemail and went back to his document. Marc was not a fan of headhunters, other HR people, real estate, or legal folks. Never was. Marc likely never will be.

Meanwhile, Anat was monitoring the funds she managed. The market was tanking. That’s the trend these days. The school was about to let out. Jerry and Benjamin were gonna play. It is incredible how good friends they are. Anat still has in the back of her mind how Jen attacked her when she was a little kid in summer camp. It was a harrowing moment. She still can’t believe she let it all pass, and now her kid is best friends with Jen’s child. It doesn’t matter. Benjamin stood no chance against Jerry if he tried to follow in his mom’s footsteps and attack Jerry. Jerry has superpowers. Benjamin is just a sweet kid.

The two kids were hanging out in Central Park. No, they were not by themselves. Benjamin’s dad, Jake, was there, and his eyes were wide open to ensure the kids were OK. The only mess they got into was the ice cream cones he bought them. Their pants enjoyed it more than they did.
The kids were throwing a Frisbee. The Frisbee was less light than a 165G. They will get to that when they are tweens. Some teenager knocked down their flying disc. The kids thought nothing of it. Jake thought it was an accident. The teen jumped on it and wouldn’t let them have it back. Benjamin ran to his dad. Jake got up from his bench and started to walk over. He was a little concerned. Jen filled him in about Jerry. He wanted things to stay calm.

Jake saw the teenager flat on the ground. Olives were all over him. Jerry was laughing and telling the big kid how, at this point, he was the big kid. Jake asked Jerry to walk away. Being a good kid, Jerry did. Of course, as he did, he fired olives all over the silly teen.

Kari – She’s dumb

Marc was at work. He was productive and bored. Marc liked his job and company. Sometimes, he didn’t fit in with his coworkers. They had no idea about his powers. Today was one of the rare days Marc worked in his midtown office on the east side.

Alana had the day off. She went back to Riis Park to run. She hoped it was a quiet day. It was cold. But runners were on the boardwalk. She reminisced about Jen’s engagement at Coney Island. The two things she remembered most – were Marc telling Jen the two would always love each other. But they weren’t meant to be. Jen agreed. Of course, as Jen’s guy, Jake, was about to pop the question, Anat flew out of the medicinal waters and swiped the ring. Alana got it back. As we know, Jen is married and has a kid. Marc had to protect her during her whole pregnancy. Anat did everything she could to go after Jen.

While strolling down memory lane, she was running faster and faster. She was breaking a sweat. “Atmosphere” from Joy Division played into their “She’s Lost Control.” It was a fitting tune for what was about to happen.

Alana saw Kari by the water. Kari noticed Alana. Kari was higher than a kite. She had a flask of whisky. She had a needle in her arm. Her fat was bouncing around. She ran toward Alana and yelled, “You’re the bitch that beat up my boy.” Alana kept running. Kari said I can fight you with my whisky. I saw you dump your bottle of wine on Jay.

Alana thought she was dumb. However, her stupidity allowed Alana to keep her cover. Kari opened the flask and shot it at Alana. She missed. She threw some seashells at her. One hit her. Alana knew this was not worth her time. She kept running. Kari tried to run. She is too fat to pick up speed. Kari threw the flask and nailed Alana in the back. Now, she was upset.

She looked Kari right in her blue eyes. Her eyes opened, and Syrah flew out. Kari opened her mouth and tried to drink it. Alana shot figs out of her hands. The figs started to choke Kari. Alana felt bad. This girl is so pathetic. Alana walked over to her and pushed her onto the sand. She told her to stay away and said if she was smart, she should dump Jay. Kari cried on the sand. Alana cranked the Cure and resumed her run.

Jay’s New Woman

Jay was tired of being beaten by Alana, Anat and Marc. To add a bigger insult, his kid, Jerry, was now beating him up. Jerry is only in first grade at the Dwight School. Jay knew Diane was cleaning herself up and wanted nothing to do with him.

Jay decided to go to church one day. Diane was heading back to shul. She was taking everything slow. Jay liked some new woman—a goth chic. Anat and Alana are as goth as it gets. Marc floats between that and his Brooks Brothers, Lacoste, and Ralph Lauren classic prep look. Musically, the superheroes are all on the same beat. Jay’s a metalhead. We know Anat went to Stanford and loved Mike Mussina.

Jay and Kari, his new chic, were fighting. The two of them are cut out for each other. Both are super dumb. The two were getting high on the beach. Someone told them to leave. Jay wanted to be tough in front of Kari. He fired glass at the guy who wanted him to get away. Jay was laughing as he was beating this poor man down. Kari was laughing so hard. Her fat belly shook. Her piercings were shaking.

The man was in a lot of pain. Jay wouldn’t let up. All of a sudden, Jay was drenched in merlot and Chenin blanc. Alana was running on the boardwalk and heard the man’s screams. She looked over towards the ocean and saw what was happening. Alana was angry. She hates it when people break up runs. She worked hard at staying in her perfect shape.

Jay shot glass at Alana. Kari was goading her guy on. She thought he was cool. Kari was so stoned she had no idea what he was doing. She saw Alana run down to the beach and tried to trip her. Big mistake. Alana belted her with figs. She fell on her fat butt.

Meanwhile, Jay was ready to fire broken glass at Alana’s face. He wanted to see her black lipstick and eyeliner turn red and blood flow all over her Joy Divions top and shorts. Glass exploded from Jay’s fingers. Alana saw it coming, shot Malbec at it, and knocked it back into Jay. Guess who turned blood red?

Jerry and his mom

Jerry and Anat went out for a walk. Anat was feeling good. She was having a healthy pregnancy. She is a little older. Her main concern was using her arsenal of dried fruit before the baby was born. She didn’t want to make crazy movements that could harm her future child.

She knew Jay was out there. Jerry’s biological mom, Diane, was cleaning herself up. She knew Jerry was no longer hers. She knew she should have never married Jay. She was in a bad spot several years ago. She liked him and got hooked on his alcohol and drug-fused lifestyle. She wasn’t innocent. She tried plenty of drugs on her own and with friends. But she was more controlled than Jay. He was utterly out of control. Jerry knew Jay was his dad. They fought in Central Park. He had no real memories of Diane. Remember, he was abandoned when he was three. He spent the first few years of his life being abused. When he got to the child center, he pushed his parents out of his mind.

Anat and Jerry were strolling down Third Avenue in the nineties. All was calm. Diane walked by and noticed the two of them. Jerry gazed at her. He made some connections. Tightly, he squeezed Anat’s hand. Anat remembered the battles she had with her and Jay. She was easy to defeat. She has no powers. Jerry was getting ready to launch his olives at Diane. But he wasn’t sure why. Anat pushed him across the street.

Diane wept. She knew she had no business being his mom. She was doing well in her rehab program and hoped to start over. It was a long way off. But doable.

Meanwhile, Jay was around the corner. Jerry heard him on his iPhone. Their eyes met. Jay was still embarrassed that his then five-year-old son beat him. It was a glass v. olives fight. Jay shot glass at Anat. Jerry jumped in front of it and knocked it down with green olives. Black olives smacked Jay in the head. Anat did not want the two to fight. She didn’t want this to get out of control. She took a deep breath and showered Jay with raisins and dates. Jay tried to fight back with jagged glass. He missed.

Anat and Jerry felt they had done enough damage and walked into Brooks Brothers. Anat had Jerry try on some clothes while wondering if the baby inside her watched this episode and was figuring out his or her powers.

New Year’s Morning

After their fight with the gunman, the two raced home, hoping to watch the ball drop. They missed it. Oh well. They didn’t care much. They did their traditional thing, played “New Year’s Day,” and went to sleep listening to Leonard Cohen.

They got up and debated doing the Coney Island Polar Bear Plunge the following day. They were pissed with the weather. So, they decided to stay home and chill. Tzipora called to wish Alana a happy new year. She and Marc’s ex, Jen, are still some of the very few people who know about their pals superpowers. Tzipora was in the bar when Alana debuted hers against some dumb jock who was getting fresh with Alana and her girlfriends. Tzipora’s new marriage is going great. Alana still had baked in her mind when she unleashed her wine and ran out of the bar to avoid getting caught on social media. The truth is Alana debuted them against Marc. But that was in one of their usual fights. They were in their breakup mode. The time in the bar with Tzipora and the other women was the first time she used them to save someone. She gained them in Israel and tested them there. But she was a novice then. Alana remembers Tzipora following her, and they spent the night together. At that time, Marc was on and off with Jen. He did save her a few times. Alana tried to take her out. Then Anat was beginning to use her powers and going after all. That is until she saved and adopted Jerry.

Jay was hungover from his New Year’s Eve celebrations. He was in a club all night. He got into a few fights and reigned with his glass firing. Blood was everywhere. As usual, he evaded the NYPD.

Marc went to buy bagels for Alana. She decided to get out of bed and turn on the TV. Television was new to them. They just got a new one. Marc had an old TV from 1998 or so. He only watched his beloved Yankees and Bloomberg News. En route to the bagel store, he saw Jay stumbling down the block. The two’s eyes locked. Jay tried to shoot Marc with glass. As he fired, he fell backward and landed on his head. Marc fired away barley and drenched him in honey. Marc texts Alana and Anat about this episode. Anat was happy that Jerry’s biological dad was on the floor again. She wonders what, if any, powers her new child would have when it is born. Dan came in with flowers for his wife and some donuts for Jerry.

Another New Year’s Eve

Marc and Alana sat in Marc’s apartment listening to an 80s mix. The Talking Heads were now playing. All of their friends were now married with kids. Newlywed Anat, who was their sworn enemy a short time ago, is now one of their best buddies. How a new enemy can make an old one’s a best friend is amazing. Anat was now six months pregnant. She is hoping for a girl. But would be happy with whatever Hashem brings her.

Anat was having a quiet New Year’s Eve gathering with Dan’s family at her place. Marc and Alana were invited. But as usual, they stayed home on New Year’s Eve. Due to the world situation, no one wanted to celebrate.

Marc and Alana chowed down on burgers and Wise chips. They had some Stella. Marc always thought Stella was his best girl. She never let him down. He teased Alana about that all the time. She would beat him. He loved it.

It was about 11:30. Alana’s and Marc’s lips were locked. Bauhaus was cranking. They wanted to tear off their black clothes and play. They heard screams. They figured it was the holiday revelers. They looked at the window and saw some madman running around with a gun. They kissed, got their coats, and raced outside.


They stood on Queens Boulevard and saw the gun-toting loon firing away. The two of them never faced gunfire. They held hands and raced toward the gunman. The gunman fired at the two. They flipped over and got out of harm’s way. Marc shot honey; Alana unloaded wine like the Emperor wields Force lightning. The gunman was hit. But he kept firing. A bullet grazed Marc’s thigh. He was slightly bleeding. Alana looked at him. A tear fell from her eye. Marc was now in a rage. Alana shot apples. The gunman was hit right in the head. Marc drenched him with honey. Pomegranates went flying. The gunman took another in the head and now was shot in the shoulders and knees. He fell to the ground. Alana walked up to him and kicked the gun out of his hand. The whole neighborhood was stunned. The NYPD was en route. Marc tied up the loon in honey. The two lovers fled the scene. They knew eventually they’d be exposed.