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The newlyweds were still enjoying their Israeli honeymoon. Anat didn’t run into her parents again. She and Dan were having a glorious time. They checked in regularly with Jerry. He was staying at Dan’s sister. He was spending time with Ben; of course, Marc and Alana were shadowing every move he made.

Anat needed him to stay safe. She was scared to leave him alone. However, she knew she needed to spend time with Dan. Anat had to get used to married life. She and Dan spent so much time together pre-wedding that she figured all would be fine.

Marc and Alana were fuming over the playoffs. Marc was madder than usual. He hoped the boys from ‘Da Bronx would take care of Houston. There is hope for a miracle. He needs to go to camp and see if he can find the Woodsman. But this might be out of his area of expertise. The Woodsman hasn’t left camp in decades. Maybe longer.

Jay was bouncing around aimlessly. He was higher than usual. He wanted to get Jerry back. He knew Diane filed for divorce. They never had a good marriage. They wed at the courthouse in the city when Diane found out she was pregnant. It was an abusive relationship. Abusive on both sides.

Jay was hurling glass as he walked along Madison Avenue. People ducked. He missed everyone. With the current crime situation, no one was surprised about a madman on the loose fighting with glass. So far, Marc, Alana, Anat, and now Jerry still fought their battles and walked off without fanfare. They hoped to keep it that way.

Marc saw Jay hurling glass along Madison Avenue. From a distance, he pelted him with pomegranate seeds. Jay went down. Marc got up close and showered him in honey. Jay screamed. No one paid attention.

Meanwhile, Jerry was at Wolfe’s Pond Park with his cousins. Some older kids were in the roller hockey rink. They weren’t playing. They were taking fentanyl. They started acting crazy. Jerry’s cousins were scared.

Jerry smacked the teens with olives. His cousins saw it but ran to their mom. They were so scared they said nothing. Jerry took out the teens. He casually walked over to the site where his aunt was grilling burgers and dogs. The fall day was now perfect. Jerry texted his mom to report his handiwork.

Anat smiled as she read Jerry’s message. Anat wrote back to be careful and be a kid.

The wedding was perfect. Dan broke the glass. The two spent their 7 minutes alone. Jerry smiled all night. Marc and Alana sipped some wine. They were limited in their sipping as they were still on guard for Jay. He never showed.

The happily married couple walked into the Joy Division’s “Love Will Tear Us Apart” and did their first dance to Depeche Mode’s “Somebody.” They kept their clothes on during the dance. Martin L. Gore recorded the song in the studio in the nude.

Everyone was happy. The night ended. They went to JFK and boarded an El Al jet to the Holy Land. They landed about 5 p.m. and got on the bus the Safed. Anat loved this town. She had a strange feeling in her heart. To the best of her knowledge, none of her family was still in Safed. Some were in Tel Aviv, some were in the USA, and some were dead.

She and Dan checked into the Dan Ruth Zefat Hotel
and had their first dinner alone as a married couple. Anat was chatting in Hebrew with the waitress. Dan had no clue what they were saying. But didn’t care. She switched to Ladino. It didn’t make a difference to Dan. He was just happy to be married.

They finished their bottle of Kishor red and some hummus, shawarma and veggies. They took a walk through the town. They passed the Sephardic shul. Anat smiled. She remembered when her grandmother took her there as a little girl.
Hand in hand, the two lovebirds walked. Others were strolling by. They were oblivious. She heard someone yell her name. At first, she thought nothing of it. Many women in Israel share her name. She heard it again and again.
She and Dan stopped. Anat was face to face with her ima (mom) and aba (dad). She took a step back. It was the first time they had seen each other in at least 30 years. Her mom asked her what she was doing in Safed. Not wanting to answer. She held up Dan’s hand and hers, plastered the engagement ring and wedding bands on her face, and said on my honeymoon. Why are you here? We moved back, they told her.

Anat looked at Dan her lips were frowning. Dan stood there. Anat held back. She wanted to splatter her parents with raisins, dates and prunes. She squeezed Dan’s hand. Her parents congratulated her on the wedding. They didn’t even ask why they weren’t invited. In their hearts, they always thought if their daughter cleaned up, she’d find someone and never talk to them. Anat and Dan started walking away. Anat didn’t even tell them that they were grandparents.

Today is the wedding day. Anat and Dan have been waiting for a long time. But the wait was to plan the perfect wedding. No, Anat never called her parents to say she was engaged. She cried that her grandmother wasn’t around to with her. But she knew she is watching over her.  

The outdoor setting looked beautiful.  Dead flowers wall all over.  Most guests arrived in all black. The photographers were taking photos of Anat and Dan. Both were wearing black. As was Jerry, the ring bearer.  Marc was perched up in a tree, Alana was walking the venue. Jen was so happy she made amends with Anat and was in the wedding party.  

The wedding party started walking into a medley of Bauhaus, the Cure and the Sisters of Mercy. Anat walked down the aisle by herself. She knew she had no one to give her away. Her parents gave her away at birth.  Joy Division’s “Love will Tear Us Apart,” followed by “She’s Lost Control,” ushered her in. She looked at Dan, whose parents walked with him to Depeche Mode’s, “Somebody.” The rabbi began the ceremony. The glass was broken. They kissed and the festivities started. 

Drinks were poured. Photos were shot. Finger food was munched on. Despite Marc’s special request, liver was not served.  Not that’d he would have dined on it. Jerry was all smiles with his family. He knew he’d be okay. He wanted a sister.  He figured they’d find her in Prospect or Central Parks.  Cute he is.

The bell rung to go to the formal dining setting. Black tablecloths, plates adorned the tables.  Alana was sipping Kishor red. Marc was still in his tree. He heard a noise. He was in the distance the extra calvary standing guard in the background. A herd of might bison were now present.

Even if Jay came to destroy the wedding the bison would have him for dinner.

erry and Ben were playing in Central Park. Jen was watching the kids. Anat was meeting with the florist. She didn’t want live flowers. The bride to be wanted dead ones. She thought live flowers would be too colorful. Dan’s mom loved her. She knows she is strange. They had a sit-down and said she wouldn’t be an overbearing mother-in-law. But she should at least have colorful flowers. She gave into Anat’s demands of a black wedding dress. Anat wouldn’t kid anyone. Young and innocent she was not, far from that.

Jerry was riding his bike. He and Ben were racing. They were keeping up with each other. As Jerry turned a corner, Jay was waiting. Jerry got blasted in the face with glass. Most of it shattered from impact. He only got a few nicks. Jay went after Ben.

Jerry knew all about Jay. He was happy to be away with him. He knows Anat loves and will do anything for him. She already proved that many times over. He, at a young age, understands how he changed her. Jay was chasing after the kids on his skates. Jerry fired green and black olives at Jay’s eyes. He landed several right into his biological dad’s left eye. Jerry aimed for Jay’s wheels. Direct hit. Jay started to slide. Meanwhile, Jen was trying to keep with this mess. She was screaming at the boys to pedal toward her while Jay slid into a tree.

Jen caught up to the two kids and texted Anat, Alana and Marc. Anat raced out of the florist and headed to the park. The other two were still in camp. They were getting ready to head home. But Marc couldn’t leave.

The trail

A shaken Marc began climbing the rickety steps to get to the top of his hill. The steps used to be solid mud. Due to the site’s closure, they are overgrown with weeds and other plant life. No one has taken care of this place since 1988. People have visited. Fires have raged. Bears have walked the site. Now Marc is walking with a mission.

Wearing his trusted Timberlands, he hiked to the original site of his leanto and prayed. He went to the cinder blocks that held the Palace. He fell to the floor. He went where the treehouse used to be. He kept hiking. He flashbacked to 1986 when he won the camp top leadership elections all but one week. The kid who beat him was his buddy. He went into the health lodge immediately after winning. By default, Marc assumed the role. When the guy came back from the health lodge, he rested. All was good. They played U2, Depeche Mode and Steely Dan in their leanto. Marc hated Steely Dan. His buddy hates U2 and Depeche Mode. A few leantos away, Metallica blasted.   

He walked in the direction of the ‘ole latrine. Long torched. One of his leaders who went in buckets possibly was the last to use this latrine. We will never really know. 

Marc has approached the site of the latrine and looking for the tip-pan. Suddenly, the world stopped. He paused. Alana was a few feet behind him. She wanted to give him his space. But she knew he was fragile. She had to watch him.

All was silent. The breeze turned into a stronger wind. The animals stood still. For a mere few seconds, Marc shut his eyes. Upon opening them, he was surrounded by a herd of bison. He fell to his knees. As he hit the ground, he saw the Woodsman.

“Marc, you need to stay strong. You’re one of the last. Forces are trying to destroy the lovely grounds we were raised on. You know I’ve been patrolling this area since the beginning of time. I’ve seen a lot. With your leadership, we will see more. Different, but we survive.”

Marc has been in a state of depression for weeks. Alana played Bauhaus, The Cure, Depeche Mode and the Smiths to cheer him up. Yes, that music is some of the most depressing on Earth. But it helped those two. It helped Anat, too.

The place where he grew up is going away. The site with the Woodsman is going away. The land will still be there. But it may not fully be under their control. The spineless people who operate fell into a pit. They’ve never been the brightest. But the got even dumber. They’ve been this way all Marc’s life. His fadder, who went there, too warned Marc about them. His leader did the same. So did many others.

Marc and Alana were flying up there in her Infiniti. The Ramones were cranking. The boys from Forest Hills played an extraordinary role in his summer camp. We all know how Jen and Anat were enemies in camp. Later, they became friends. Jen will even attend Anat’s wedding. Yes, Marc and Alana discussed their wedding. Discussed was all they did. They laughed about walking down the aisle.

Alana pulled into the muddy parking lot. The gate was up. They decided to hike to Marc’s precious grounds. The grounds where he grew up, where he met his leader. Where he first heard the tales of and finally met the Woodsman. Marc knew it was all going away. He was shaking during his hike up.

Since they couldn’t drive up, he knew they would have to pass several buildings he spent time with him. The office was gone. He felt bad. But didn’t weep. He only went there to pick up the mail. He walked by where the dining should be. He saw an empty plot of land and chips of wood all over. A cabin or two that we used for handicrafts and other activities was not too far away. No more. Gone.

The shower house, which he rarely used, was nearby. No, he wasn’t a dirtbag. Marc showered in the more private single stall shower on his hill. He would do so at about 1 in the morning. He always showered in the dark. Sometimes the water heater that they housed from another site worked. Sometimes the shower was ice cold. He didn’t care. His eyes looked toward where the shower house would be. Gone. Tears were starting to form in his eyes. He supposed the site where a famous staff member who rocked in the dining hall and used to play with his little guy in was gone. He guessed the DNA evidence was bulldozed down.

They approached his hill. Alana was holding his hand. She knew his was a wreck. She started kissing him. She pulled out her iPhone and cranked “Pulling Mussels from the Shell,” which went into “I Wanna Be Sedated” and ended with “Come Together.” He got to the foot of hill. Sometimes he thought ty were fools on that hill.

He collapsed. His precious leanto was gone. He slept in it during his teen years. He and his leanto mate used to drink Genny Cream Ales in it. They ate Freihoffers cookies and ate sandwiches with red sauce from El Monaco’s. That restaurant has been gone for decades. His leanto mate loves to rest.

He couldn’t get up. When he did, he shot pomegranates, barley and honey everywhere. Alana stepped away. Marc continued like a mad man for over an hour. She didn’t know what to do. She didn’t want to. But she started shooting him with wine. She thought she could harm him. She nailed him in the chest with an apple.
He ran toward her. He picked her up and held her. He was pure mush. Eventually, he put her down. They sat on the hallowed grounds where his leanto was. He was afraid to hike to the site of the tip-pan.

Thanks to Jerry, Anat now has a heart. Her wedding was three weeks away and she still didn’t tell her parents. Of course, they haven’t spoken to each other in nearly three decades. She wondered if they’d even talk to her. She had no idea what they were up to or how their health was.

Anat dialed a few of the digits of their phone number. She held the phone for five minutes while deciding if she should type in the last digit. She placed the handset back in the receiver and had a shot of Arak.

Jerry just woke up. She smiled. He ran over to her. He had breakfast and started practicing firing olives. Anat was worried. She wanted him to be calm. She didn’t even understand why he had this power. She was her son. But not by blood. But that didn’t matter. Her love for him and his for her wrote over the blood relationship. They were a true family.

She mailed and emailed all the invitations. She was thinking of doing a dairy wedding. She knows a guy who has connections to a dairy farm. He’s known for getting the best milk and cheeses. Sometimes he’s busy cleaning some campsite. But he usually pulls through.

Meanwhile, Marc and Alana were tired of being continuously tested for COVID-19 to enter venues. Like everyone, they have had enough of the virus. They knew politics played a role in it from the beginning. And now, aså most believe, that’s all it is.

Jay knew about Anat’s wedding. He was planning to make an appearance.

• 

After Anat’s successful bridal shower, Marc borrowed Alana’s car and went up to camp. Marc was very worried about some of the campsites. The clowns that run this place, who call themselves professionals really screwed up. 

Marc had to make sure the property was safe.  Plus, he needed time in his old leanto, the lake and dining hall. If only his favorite latrine still stood.  He would go pray by the tip pan. That’s all that’s left of the social center of his youth. 

Marc pulled into the parking lot. The gate leading into the camp was closed. That never stopped anyone. He parked and climbed over the small chain. He hiked past the dining hall and ballfield. It was grown in.  They couldn’t play softball or their special version of Ultimate Frisbee on it. He made a note to have the grass cut next time he came. He figured he and Alana could do it with their powers. 

He saw some deer by path near the ‘ole campsite that an almost famous musician used to run. He stopped for a moment and searched his vaulted aisles of memory. Marc looked at his phone and say a what’s up text from Alana. He replied all was well. He was hiking up to his campsite. He planned on spending the night in his leanto.  He had some food in his backpack. He’d light a cooking fire when he got to his spot. 

Marc went to his leanto and placed his belongings in it. He walked over to the lake and jumped in. The water was cooling down.  He swam for about an hour. He exited the lake and walked to the site of the waterfront his leader used when he was a kid.  The docks were gone. But Marc knew where it was. There was a special pipe where the docks used to be. Marc took a look at the pipe and smiled. He jumped into to that section of the lake. He got out and walked to his site.

He lit the fire and started cooking his steak. He planned to bake brownies.  The remains of a Dutch over were still in the site. It has been there for over three decades. He remembers when a kid lost the Dutch oven bakeoff and cried for days. Oh well.

Marc was expecting to be alone for the weekend.  He played U2, Depeche Mode and the Psychedelic Furs. He was enjoying his steak when he heard noises.  He looked around.  He saw nothing.

He went back to his steak and Genny Cream Ale.  He felt good. All of a sudden, he heard the cry of the mighty buffalo.  He didn’t think the Woodsman was going to pay him a visit this time. He figured it had to be him. He was honored. He was ready.

Silently he approached Marc.  He picked up a Genny and started drinking.  Marc rose in his honor.  The Woodsman smiled. He looked at Marc and smiled.  He began to speak.  Marc’s ears were ready.

“Marc, you did well at the Boathouse.  Jay must be stopped. He will confront you again.  Alana will be by your side. I’ve been watching you since our last meeting. She will always be by your side and you by hers.  Before you leave this site, you must clean the side of the hill. The bozos that run this place have made a mess.  When you’re done you must drink a glass of milk.  When you’re done go look for a red bucket. I think you know what it’s used for. You will find answers to your next struggle in it.”

Marc remembered the legend of the bucket.  It was started by a dear friend, uncle and leader.  He and Marc’s leader ruled the camp back in the day. He felt their presence as the Woodsman and his herd of buffalo disappeared in the woods.

Coughing like a maniac Jay rose from the lake.  He wasn’t submerged for too long.  His eyes were bloodshot. But they usually are. Marc saw him rising. He jumped off the roof of the Central Park Boathouse and landed in the water. He was firing pomegranates the whole time. Marc landed in the lake.  Jay shot glass at him.  Marc pelted him with the ‘ole camp standard—Dead fish. He wondered if Jay remembered this.  Possibly. However, he and Marc weren’t in the same group. Marc’s group were the master of dead fish fights.

Fish guts were up Jay’s nose. While this was happening, park staff was rowing out to get the two out of the water. Marc was using fish v. his superpowers so he wouldn’t get caught.  To protect Marc, Alana fired apples and wine at the rescuers. She didn’t want to hurt them. But knew protecting Marc’s identity was more important in the greater scheme. 

The rescuers boats slowed down. As they stopped Marc grabbed Jay out of the lake and left him ashore. Marc ran into the bathroom of the boathouse to dry off. Alana fired several shots of wine at Jay. Several figs landed in his ears.

Meanwhile, the ladies were toasting Anat.  Alana raced back in and grabbed a glass of wine.